Ahhhh, Saturday...

Brit's outta town all weekend and I'm off today. I needed some time to myself. I've been recording some new songs for about four hours now. Its nice. Tedious, but nice. I wish I could do this all the time. Record and produce and sing and write... that's what I'd love to do. Hone these talents and abilities rather than my sales skills. Work towards a career that's rewarding. To feel like I'm giving something to this world. To contribute the best way I know how...

I'm so scared to even attempt to pursue it though. Those close to me tell me to try and sell some songs, but I don't wanna sell anything. I'm sure I'd love the money that comes with all that. But I'll be... (something)... if I'll turn on the radio in the car to hear someone else singing MY song. Ya know? The words are from my heart. From my life. I wanna sing them. I wanna play these songs. I wanna be the one on stage.

I don't feel like I was made for a career in sales. I don't feel like I was made for middle management. I don't feel like I was made for marketing. I'm good at all those things. But I have this burning I carry around inside my heart that says I was made for so much more than that. Made for so much more than what I live. So much more than this...