I don't cry often...

I'm emotional. I'll give you that. But I don't cry often.

However, when art strikes me the right way, it can quickly bring me to tears. I cried when I watched Pixar's film "Up," pained by the beauitful narrative they were telling. I cried standing in Museo del Prado in Spain, awed by the history and beauty I was surrounded by. I've cried several times when leaving good concerts, awed by the music that stirs my soul.

I've been reading John Irving's "The Cider Hour Rules." Its an absolutely fantastic novel. About 3/4 of the way through, he drops this bombshell and I lost it:

"No, not in a better world!" he cried. "In this one--in this world. I take this world as a given. Talk to me about this world!"

Sitting alone in my house, getting ready to take a shower, I cried.

We can speak of a more optimal world. We can speak of heaven. We can speak of dreams and wishes of different lives. But right now, all we have is this world.

I'm tired of speaking of things and using phrases like "if only." If we are going to change what is, we better start dealing with things as they are. This is the world we live in. Not some other world. Not a theoretically different place. This earth. Now. This is what we have.

I want to be part of changing the world. God, I wish I knew where to start.