Money, money, money, mo-ney.... MONEY!

I once had a guest speaker in a business class in high school talk to everyone about how ridiculous it is that "the Bible says that money is the root of all evil." Of course, he didn't wanna listen when I told him he had that verse all wrong and he went on about his little speech. But the verse actually says that the "love of money is the root of all kinds of evil." That's an entirely different scenario. Still, money can be a real sore spot in lots of conversations.

I work for a church. My salary is paid by people's tithes (ie, donations). In other words, people who attend Broadway pay me to do what I do. I struggle with that. Its like carrying weight around sometimes. I mean, the economy isn't in the greatest shape ever. I don't make an outrageous salary--in fact, I'm right on the dot for median income for a male in Warren County. I don't have a problem sharing that because I'm not in the position I am to make money. I do it because I love what I get to do. But it still weighs on me that my salary comes from a church budget.

I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with it. At times, though, I feel like I'm perpetuating an unhealthy system. My whole job is to get Broadway involved and active in the local community. I oversee everything from a mentoring/tutoring program to a needs assistance fund, and from a grocery assistance program to a furniture donation program. My whole job is to get people involved in healthy, active ways outside of the four walls of our church. But I question whether or not I need to be paid to do that.

I feel like we've set up a system where we convince people they have to have a pastor, minister, or leader of some kind in the church. Then the responsibility sets on them (pastor, minister, or leader) instead of the church member/attender. I know that's not how everyone feels, but I certainly think there's a large percentage of the average church congregation who feels that way. And that's not how its supposed to be. We are all supposed to carry that responsibility. We are all, as followers of Jesus, supposed to be the ones seeking out "his kingdom come, his will be done, on earth..."

In times like these, when money can be short, I just think we should be about doing the best possible things with our money. The government wastes hundreds of billions of dollars every year--on war, on bailouts, on employee salaries, on God knows what else. People are incredibly critical and analytical about where that money is going--and we should be. (Maybe we should be even more.) Why? Because its our money that the government is spending. Its everyone's money. Its our tax dollars. In the church, its a similar scenario. I would venture to say that there are hundreds of billions of dollars wrapped up in church budgets across our country.

Hundreds of billions.

And we should be concerned with what happens with that money. I have a friend who says that "a budget is a moral document." I can't agree with him more. What we do with our money and resources says a lot about us. I'm not saying that tithing is a bad thing or paying chuch staff is a bad thing or having designated leadership is a bad thing or having structured church is a bad thing. Not at all. I'm just being honest about what goes on in my head at times. I wonder what could be done if there weren't so much overhead involved.

Some people would probably insist that the church as an institution should cease to exist. That it should die. That the American church is way off from what Jesus intended it to be. Those feelings certainly have some merit and I can understand why people would feel that way. There are days when I think we should just burn it all down and start from scratch. But I've been at Broadway for almost 2 years now. I can honestly say that so much good has happened and so much change has occurred because there's been voices encouraging it to happen. If people weren't part of the system to critique it and nail their theses to the front door, would there be any hope? Could the system devolve into a self-perpetuating country club? Aren't the voices demanding change needed? Aren't the things that are hard to hear at times good for us in the long run?

I remember when I first read Shane Claiborne's book "Irressitible Revolution." It changed my life--for lots of reasons. But I was shocked at the end of the book. He had spent a lot of time critiquing the institution of church and talking about the areas in which it was lacking and how we needed to be about pursuing the way of Jesus and not the way of American religion. Yet, at the end of the book, he encourages everyone that is part of the church to remain part of the church and to not leave it out of frustration. I think that I am finally beginning to understand why he made that point. Without the folks who voice their frustrations and concerns, the future of the church would be lost. We need critics. We need people pointing out where we fall short as the church. We need to know where we suck. We need people pushing for change. We need people constantly reminding us of why we're here.

So, at the end of the day, I'm still unsettled about things. I still have questions and concerns about the system I'm very much a part of. But I'm not ready to abandon it. All is not lost. Hope springs eternal. So, for now, I continue to work here and do the best I can. I also seek to be part of the church and not just go to church--the former is much more important to me. I also seek to be an active part of a community of friends who are active in their love for eachother and local community.

This is rambling. Hope it makes some sense. Maybe I just need to type this out at times to confirm that I'm a conflicted human being. I realize there's brokeness and problems within a system. I also realize the potential for beauty and change from that same system.